To Ride or Die

The car was rolling nonstop.
I can't remember when it halted.
Who fell out first...
must've been together.
Gravity scrapped our knees, our backs.
Your face fell off...
the smell, the sight,
I couldn't look away.
You must have sown my eyes shut,
I must have lost my mind.

Now the words I write amount to nothing,
we turned into dust together.
What keeps us intact?

Certainty, Clarity, Serenity

When they wrote a novel,
you wrote a sentence.

Where Love is Love

If there is one thing I'm sure of, it's that I love you.
From the deepest, most passionless pit of my heart, I do.

It's finding where love is love.
Where I find myself resting above
on a cloud lined with silver.
The rain has never brought me down...
and you know it.
Words, pieces of puzzles, seeds of life;
you've put it all together
made it beautiful
gave me honor.

If I knew where to find it...
     if you find it before me,
I'd only hope the wind wouldn't stop blowing in every direction.

When Air Ignites Fire

Please...
could you swallow the sword you placed in my back?
Could you stop squeezing my heart,
it hurts.
You have it,
I promise.
I know your grip is hard to hold,
believe me,
I know you're getting tired.
It's okay,
you'll still feel every beat without every finger.

More of the Truth

It's happening again...
it must be getting taken.
Someone must be stealing it.
With grace,
with ease,
with tender hands—
my heart is craddled in the chest of a man.
With tears,
with ache,
with lightings quake—
his love will only make me bitter and fake.

How much more truth could one want?
One day, love,
you're gonna be all I wish I never asked for.

A Little Love

I've been a little lost.
A bit loveless
and a little shamed.

Spent a few months too long in space.

A lot of too little consumes me.
I can't spit this blood from my mouth.
Proceeded by dusty tears
sandpaper on my lips
splinters in my gums
a pick in my brain
reminiscing how you're fucking terrible.

The Only Ocean

Every wave, every piece of sand,
every floating word;
connected by the winds trot.

I've been slain by every floating leaf,
blown by the sky's breath;
suffocated by the ash of our origin.
Only to love my light head and bleeding sleeve.

Every countless star, every seas reflection,
glimmer misdirection.
There's only one sun, only one moon,
only one you.

Waltz Beneath

Remember the tiki place?
Like the old backyard
with sand, the pool,
and the grass wrapped around.

Hable, hable con su cuerpo.
Think, think with your hips.
Mi carozon, 
no llores, no llores
sólo se mueven.

A World's End

Destruction comes the day I fall for the right person
or vice versa.
It's the day my world meets its end.
In time, with age
upon death
'til I part.

From Scabs to Scars

It must be that thing
you know, where you want to remember everything they do.
The camera won't serve justice,

and memories are erased.
Lacerations reignite hope.
So tonight,
patterns will carve into my body
with faith,

I'll learn to heal.

The scars you left aren't big enough.

This is Being Lost

I'm tired of seeing your breathtaking views.
I want to enjoy life...
like everyone else.
Stupid shit clouding my mind.
Something, please make sense.
When I find someone faithful
I'll stop losing mine.

Sometimes

If not every time,
then when?

I look back—I scour for bliss.
Were they all the wrong places?

I know I love the sunshine,
and I dance in the rain.

It's probably that simple.
My thoughts are just lost.
My head is gone.
But not my heart, not my soul.

Settling

I fucking miss my dad.
I don't fear the selfishness in that anymore.

One more of something, anything
so the dust will start settling.

Stargazing

The ceiling never changes—
but today,
I conceive the extraordinary.

Ways to See

Everyone deserves to smile.
I'll do it alone; I'll do it with countless others,
but I can't do it with just you.
I'm so sorry, honeybee, because I love your smile.
And I could cry because you'll never be enough.
Not one pair of bright eyes is enough.
My steps only follow the dark. You shine too bright.
I won't stop searching; I'll keep falling off the edge.
I won't conquer myself, not my fears, thoughts, or actions.
There is never an end, 

only the fluids dropping from my bleeding, lonely theories.

And in this adventure, there will be you, me,
and a handful of people I battle to love.

Hidden Truths

Should there always be secrets kept to oneself?
I mean, of course, I could spout all my hidden truths,
but it would take some adding to make complete sense.
Where's someone to fuck it all away?

I, Myself

Am I a sucker for beautiful women?
Ones who never know what they want, but it for sure in hell isn't me.
Or it is they get confused with insecurities?
     It must be the color of their eyes:
blue, gray, green, and even hazel.
None of which are ever brown.
Whatever.
Wish I could say I'm done.

To the Wind

I'm just another seed to scatter;
a speck to concur.
To you,
I won't bleed any different.

To the Girls Who've Looked at me Different

Fuck all of you and your fucking awkwardly captivating stares!
Don't look at me unless you know how to keep looking.

You beautiful girls and your goddamn insecurities—
fuck off and live a little.
It's fine to be scared,
but you're minuscule afflictions damage the world.

Ima snap one of you bitches in half,
then you'll have a fuckin image to worry about.

The Workplace

This tension is fucking sizzling.
You slimy bastard.
A goddamn image is imbedded in my mind,
and it's not even mine!

Give yourself some credit;
it's not every day some knuckle-dragging,
donkey-dicked faced,
shit-eating, low life
changes so many lives in one night.
Words are not enough.

Fucking pervert.

To the Unworthy

Which would be me of course
because I gotta be down on myself;
I'm too high up on this fucking horse.

I haven't told someone I wanted to be alone and meant it so much.
And I'm so sorry because I care about my boys
But they're placeholders.
Can't they understand
can't I be by myself
can't I have the love I want?

I guess if I didn't smell like whiskey I'd let you in.

Okay, I accept the fact that my problem has gotten in the way of my social life.

I don't want to go down this road again.

Conditionally

Some people really love each other and that's great.
Me? I'd rather choke than feel that pain.

If I Expect

I'll be angry.
I'll want something different.
Discontent.
I'll lose sleep,
and the ability to accept.

At this moment I don't know a higher power than acceptance.
Any mindless ramble I take you on could all be explained,
and if that wasn't true, you could accept it to be your truth.
What other perception matters but your own?

I'll find all the truth in lies.
I'll lie to find the truth.

I'll lay here telling myself anything acceptable,
so I know trying not to love you is possible.
I'll predict our future and realize the lack of one we'll have.
I'll shut my eyes, clutch onto my pillow
whisper my wish that it'd be you instead
to fall asleep and forget all again.

Today, is the Greatest

I was trying to remember what it was like to be a young teen in my parents home.
I remember leaving and wanting to be back.
I remember coming back—
coming and going some more

I'm sure it was the mixture of fear and the all-inclusive woes of being a young adult.
I think what kept me farthest away was my new and misunderstood understanding of love.

I feel as though there is a time when love stops automatically being unconditional and innocent.
That's why young love is so rare.
Because we can't see why love could appear to be cruelty.
At least for myself, and I mean that's all the audience there is here anyway.
The point is, I remember so little of that time because I had no idea what the fuck any part of that life meant to me.
Until now, I guess...
and of course, continuing.

I did not see I was so distant. It's still a struggle, but I know I am.
I guess that's the difference between thoughts and feelings.
My head is filled with doubt (I don't think I'm distant).
My heart is filled with confidence (I lack emotional capabilities, but they can grow).

Almost entire side note, but I'm afraid to be cocky
I think because I think all the time my thoughts make sense
That I'm right
That when I talk myself out of a situation, I know how it'll end, and it wasn't worth it.

I want to hold that girl who's not just "that girl."
I want her
I want what I don't know how to have
I want
I want
I want.