damn

It's this heart-sinking feeling
and the way mine is sunk.

I'm starting to wonder what is good enough, and I'm questioning if I was giving her my best attention. I don't get how things can move so fast, and I could have seen this coming if I was looking, right?
I didn't want to look out for this kind of shit; I didn't think it was necessary here. Questioning your whereabouts and defensiveness. Looking through your messages— why is it now I feel I won't be able to stop once I've started.

"Tell me, baby, what's your story, where you come from
and where you wanna go this time

Tell me lover are you lonely

The thing we need is never all that hard to find?"

I don't know how this shit happened so fast.

I'm glad I can't think about it so much right now. Today is going to suck.

When we breathe

The times when I lose my breath or when it's hard to take when one in, I know those are special moments.
It's when I'm breathing in to get high
and hitting Route 66,
when a car collides with mine,
cumming,
sucking down a cigarette,
crying,
thinking deep,
the breath after a long run,
giving birth,
shitting,
dying.

and the point?

"I'm ready for the funeral"
and "if you are what you say you are... have no fear"

How long will a person wait before it's too much? I couldn't tell you how it feels to see everything you want within arms reach, but she's not there, and I feel it.
Am I afraid of what someone see's from what I write? No, I'm afraid of what my brain isn't seeing now.
"but maybe I'm just tired, tired of never knowing"
Where's that part of me that still cares about my future, I wouldn't be too fond of burning out.
"I can ride my bike with no handlebars"
somebody watch me flyy.
"look at me, look at me
Driving and i won't stop."